So This Is Christmas

I'm probably one of the few people that isn't happy when it snows at Christmastime. I love snow and I love Christmas and I've always loved the combination of the two. But, they are no longer a perfect pair. Rob is salting the streets to make them nice for all the Christmas morning travelers. When I picture families driving safely from one place to another I can feel the small fuel of anger dying. We knew it was a possibility that he would get called in and all through the early morning hours we'd look outside and proclaim "no snow!" So I became attached to the idea that yes, he would be home and we would have the cozy Christmas morning that I envisioned. And then like a joy thief the call came and off he went. I felt the loss immensely. The Spirit of Christmas vanished from my entire being. I felt so alone. Eli was still sleeping, Emily is coming over later...I just wanted my little family. I felt the whisper to my heart in that moment, "you are not alone, you are never alone." I was jolted back into remembering who this day is for. Who every day is for. I'm imperfect in my walk with God. I lose perspective...but, only in small fleeting moments. God and I have an arrangement. He let's me throw my pity party. He let's me fall on the floor into a full blown toddler tantrum. And, then He gently nudges me back to Him where I belong. No, this Christmas is not ideal. Yes, I would change some things if I could. But, the reality is this human life is filled to the rim with imperfections and disappointment. But, He is perfect and He doesn't disappoint. He is always the same. Now and forever. Thank you, Lord, for teaching me to set my eyes upon you. Thank you for sending your son Jesus to the Earth. Happy Birthday, Jesus.